


Life Will Go On

by carmillachangedme



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Dean!Perry - Freeform, F/F, Vamp!Laura
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 10:48:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7681444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carmillachangedme/pseuds/carmillachangedme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a (longer then expected) one shot based off of a tweet i wrote a couple days ago! </p><p>"What if Laura becomes a baby vamp and kills someone and is covered in blood and traumatized and Carmilla is so loving and cleans her up" </p><p>Basically the fic is just Carmilla being really sweet and caring towards Laura as she gets traumatized by stuff that happens to her after being turned into a vampire. </p><p>I havent written anything in about a year, so my apologies if this sucks and I hope people enjoy this! :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life Will Go On

**Author's Note:**

> The lullaby in the fic is "Brahms Lullaby" sung by Jewel. I changed a couple words in it, and those words will be highlighted. 
> 
> I obviously don't own any of the rights to this song.
> 
> /////// means a shift in time

“Laura!” Carmilla yells out into the night. She can hear Lafontaine yelling Laura’s name on the other side of campus. The events of the night are racing through her head, being looped over and over again. 

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

She had just walked into her mother's apartment after running a surveillance around the campus to make sure they’d be safe. They had returned there after escaping the library. The campus was completely deserted, they couldn’t even find their friends. Carmilla claimed every night she was going out to look for food, which she did sometimes, but really she was making sure their little apartment was safe for Laura. Also Lafontaine, but mostly for Laura. She turned into their little living room and her heart stopped in her chest. She saw Danny pinning Laura to the ground and had her mouth at her throat. Laura was deathly pale and the smell of blood was thick in the air. She was already feeling sick from the smell of Laura’s blood, but what made her want to hurl was seeing Perry standing just behind the two girls on the floor. She was speaking in a foreign tongue, but something about what she was saying wasn't completely foreign and that's what was scaring her. She had only heard one person say those words before and that was when she was being cheated of her own death. 

“Mother” She said in a low voice. She didn't hear her though, she was too busy turning her girlfri- ex girlfriend into a monster like herself. 

“Get off of her!” Carmilla snarled out as she lunged at Danny. 

She didn't get very far as she was met with one of Danny’s outstretched arms. She was managing to drain the blood out of the smaller girl and hold her back at the same time. Carmilla didn't even know her mother had turned the tall ginger as well, but it was apparent now. There was so much fear and adrenaline pumping through her body but it was useless against a newborn vampires strength, especially since Carmilla was weak from not eating in a long time. 

She sat hopeless, off to the side, tears welling up in her eyes as she watched the girl she loves die and be torn back from death. After what felt like years to Carmilla, she finally heard Laura suck in a breath again and could hear her heart fluttering in her chest. She hadn't realized she had been holding her breath until she breathed out a sigh of relief. Laura was starting to thrash around under Danny trying to escape, panic starting to consume her.  

“Good to see your body took to the change Laura.” Carmilla heard Perry say in a cold tone she had never heard come from her before. Her mother really had hijacked her body after all.  

“What happened?” Laura squeaked out. Carmilla’s heart shattered at how scared she sounded. “Why does my throat feel like it's on fire?” 

“Oh darling, I turned you into a vampire.” Perry said while picking at her nails, sounding almost bored.  

Laura stilled underneath Danny. The truth of what happened sinking into her right away. 

Perry walked over to her and looked right into her eyes. 

“Do you know who I am?” Perry said 

“Yes. You are my master now.” Laura said in a weird monotone voice. Carmilla was going to be sick again. 

“Good.” Perry sneered, looking over at Carmilla. “Do you know who she is?” Gesturing for Laura to look over at her. Laura turns her to head to the right to look at where Carmilla is still sitting. 

“Carmilla?” She says in a normal voice, confusion written all over her face. 

Perry apparently didn’t like the exchange that was going on between the two girls because she takes Laura’s face in her hand and forces her to look back at her, and into her eyes again. 

“Thats right Laura. Don't move again until I tell you too.” Laura froze up, causing a smirk to grow on Perry’s face. 

“Danny get off of her and go wait outside.” Danny got off of Laura almost robotically and left the apartment. 

Perry walked over Laura’s frozen body on the ground and made her way over to Carmilla. She stood up to meet her. 

“Now Mircalla, I'm sure you've figured out by now that I'm not your curly haired friend anymore.” 

“What did you do to her?” Carmilla spat in her face. 

“I turned her into a vampire, you know that.” 

“No mother, you’ve done more to her then just turn her. How are you controlling her? Also when did you even turn Danny?”

Perry just smirks and laughs in response. 

“Well turns out Curly Sue here isn't so normal after all. She has some supernatural powers I haven't come across in centuries. They've come in handy since I've been trapped in this damned body.” Perry says matter of factly as she walks back to Laura. 

“As for Danny, well… After that beef head Zeta leader stabbed her she was as good as dead. I happened to notice that the other Zeta had been following her around like a puppy recently, so it was really no problem at all getting him to help me store her body until I was ready. Then when everyone ran off after that dimwit Vordenberg got killed, I was left here all by my lonesome, so I turned her.” 

“Why are you doing this?” 

“Well, because my darling girl, I need some power behind me if I'm going to make it through the rest of those 7 gates. Since your little toy here seemed to cause so much trouble while being human, I figured she’d be even more useful under my control.” She said while crouching down next to Laura. 

It was taking everything in Carmilla not to go after Perry right now. She hijacked one of her friends bodies. She turned Danny. She didn't even like the tall ginger but she wouldn't wish this life on her. She also turned Laura. Her sweet little ball of light, the reason she’s felt like she has purpose on this earth again. The only person she’s given her heart to in centuries. She was beyond furious and scared out of her mind, but she wasn't dumb enough to believe that even though her mother was in a seemingly human body she could attack her so easily. 

“Why didn't you just ask me to help you?” 

“Now that is a good question Mircalla. Since this meddling girl came into your life you haven't done anything I've asked of you. At the time I let it go because you and William were the only people I could turn to to get things done but now that I have new, shall we say recruitments, you are disposable to me.” Perry says as she starts to turn Laura’s head to look into her eyes again. 

“Disposable? What the hell is that supposed to mean?” 

“It means Mircalla, that you are useless to me now. You are no longer a help and you are just going to get in my way. So now you need to be disposed of.” Perry says while looking back at Carmilla. 

No longer willing to amuse Carmilla’s questions she turns her attention back to the newborn vampire on the floor.

“Kill her.” She instructs to Laura. 

Carmilla’s blood turns to ice in her veins. 

“Yes master.” Laura says as she wakes from whatever frozen state she was in. 

Perry laughs as she starts to walk towards the door. 

“Have fun.” 

Carmilla shifts her attention from where Perry was sauntering out the door to the small newborn vampire slowly approaching her. Laura’s normally soft chocolate brown eyes now held a hard tint to them. Her mouth was contorted into a snarl which showed her white teeth. Her small hands were curled at the fingers, ready to scratch or grab Carmilla at any moment. Everything about her screamed predator. 

Despite every natural instinct in her body telling her to get ready to fight back or run, she ignored them. She could not hurt this small girl, even if she was about to kill her. She loved her too much. 

“Laura, please you don't have to do this.” She said to the girl, hopefully trying to get through to her. All Carmilla got in response was a snarl. 

“Laura, it's me Carmilla.” Her voice cracking, finding it harder to contain her emotion. 

Laura paused for a moment. Her demeanor going from hard predator back to the soft girl Carmilla knew. If she blinked she would have missed the split second transformation because as fast as Laura stopped, she started back up again.  

“Look at me, please. Really look at me. Laura, please. I know you recognize me.” Carmilla said, practically begging her. 

She was in grabbing distance now. If she didn't stop Carmilla was either going to get really hurt, or die. All at the hands of the girl she loves. Even in a moment like this her mother's sick humour didn't pass her. 

Once again Laura paused. This time for longer. Carmilla could see recognition register on her face, and then confusion quickly set in. 

“Carm-” Carmilla’s heart soared at hearing her old nickname from Laura. It was working, hopefully. She was getting through to her. 

There was a battle going on in Laura’s body. She was struggling against something Carmilla couldn't see. She had to act now to stop Laura from advancing. She wasn’t going to hurt the girl but she could defend herself. Carmilla reached forward while Laura wasn't paying attention and pinned her arms to her side. Since newborn vampires are much stronger it wouldn't do much good if Laura decided she wanted to break free, but for now it would buy her time to try and get through her. To try and break her mother's hold on Laura. 

“I'm right here Laura. I know you can fight through this. Come back to me.” Carmilla said, lowering herself down to Laura’s level. 

It was probably suicide getting in a newborn's face but she didn't care. She only cared about trying to save the girl she loves. 

She could feel Laura’s body twitching in her grasp, her body tensing and untensing as she fought her mother’s hold on her. Her eyes squeezed shut, trying to fight the command to kill. Carmilla was hopeful that she was going to get through to Laura since they had been at a stalemate for a while now. 

Suddenly Laura’s body tensed up in her arms again and Carmilla’s heart stopped for the second time that night. Carmilla’s time was up, she couldn't get through to the smaller girl. She closes her eyes and waits for her death to come. Images start flashing behind her closed eyes. She could remember this happening twice before. The first time when she was bleeding out on that cold dancefloor hundreds of years ago. The second time when she was laying at the bottom of that pit last year. Now, the last 300 or so years of her life start speeding past her eyes faster than a bullet. The good, the bad, the suffocating, all of it flying by faster and faster until it comes to her time with Laura. Carmilla is happy to die if her last thought is of Laura as it would make for a peaceful end. But it doesn't come. She doesn't feel teeth at her throat, a thirsty mouth lapping up her life source. Instead she feels an absence in her hands. She opens her eyes and finds Laura across the room, hunched over, looking at her and panting hard. 

“Car-mil-la” She panted out. 

Carmilla let out a breath of relief. She isn't dead and Laura still recognizes her. She isn't sure she believes in religion after being on the earth for so long but she’ll thank every God out there if she can make it out of this with her life and Laura being safe from her mother’s grasp. 

“Laura.” She says softly, almost hesitantly, not wanting to throw off whatever is happening right now. 

“Wh-what's happ-ppening to me” Her voice coming out shaky now. 

“You’ve been turned.” Carmilla says, taking a tentative step towards her. 

“No! Stay there!” Laura shouts out, apparently finding some strength. “I don't want to hurt you.” 

Carmilla stops trying to move forward, holding her palms up in surrender. 

“Why does my throat feel like it's on fire?” The smaller girl says, bringing her hands up to touch her throat. 

“You need to eat, cupcake” Carmilla says softly. 

There's no easy way to tell a girl who lives off of cookies and other sugary goods that she now has to consume blood to live. 

“You mean bl-” She cuts herself off, looking a little sick, “Blood?” 

“Yes.” Carmilla won't look at her, ashamed of the life she is now damned to. 

“I don't want to hurt anyone.” She says softly, emotion beginning to well up in her voice. 

“You don't have to. I can take you to the hospital that was on campus. It surprisingly still has some blood bags left in it.” Carmilla gently tells Laura. 

Thinking she was making some progress, she took a step forward. That was a mistake. 

“Stop! No!” Laura holds up her hand. She’s fighting that invisible force again. “Everything is so confusing. Too loud, too bright, too many smells.” Her voice cracks, finally betraying her emotions. “I don't know what's going on but I do know I can't be here, or else I'm going to hurt you.” She turns to leave the room. 

“Laura, wait!” But she’s gone before she can even get the whole sentence out. 

Carmilla runs to the door, trying to chase after the faster girl. She opens the front door to run out into the night but is stopped by a voice behind her. 

“Whats going on?” Carmilla turns around and sees Lafontaine at the top of the stairs, they're tinkering with something in their hands. “I was just up in my room trying to make a tracker bot to help us try and find where all our friends are when I heard some noises down there. Is everything okay?” 

After they finish talking they look up from whatever is in their hands.

“What’s wrong?” They said worriedly, apparently seeing the agitation and distress on Carmilla’s face. 

“Laura’s gone.” She states bluntly, figuring there's no reason to hide the fact Laura is missing. Lafontaine pales at that, which Carmilla actually finds amazing since they're already so pale. 

“Hold on, I'll be right back” 

Carmilla stood impatiently in the door frame, getting more jittery with every passing minute. Finally Lafontaine reappeared from their room with a bag on their back that had all sorts of weapons poking out from it, and a chainsaw with a flashflight fashioned to it in their hands. The whole thing must weigh at least 50 pounds. Carmilla is impressed the science nerd can even lift that much stuff. 

“Let’s go.” They say in a determined voice. 

“No way. You aren't coming.” Carmilla grabbed Lafontaine’s arm as they tried and walk past her and out the door. 

“Yes way. Look L is one of my best friends. Perry already disappeared, I can't let L slip through my fingers too. Especially when I can help this time.” 

Carmilla felt sick at the mention of Perry. She doesn't know how she's going to be able to tell Laf that their other half had been hijacked by her mother. She also doesn't know how she's going to be able to tell them that their other friend had been turned into a vampire by said body-hijacked-friend. Carmilla knows that they're good with the weird stuff but there's only so much someone can take all at once. She will never admit it but she does care about the science ginger, and telling them all the information she learnt tonight would break them. 

She knows she shouldn't let Lafontaine out of the apartment with a newborn vampire on the loose and her crazy mother back in power prowling out there too. But she doesn't know if she'll be able to find Laura on her own. As much as it pains her to suck up her pride and ask for help, she needs to do it. She can stitch her ego back up later with sarcastic remarks when everything is back to normal for them. 

“Fine, let's go.” she sighed, turning to let Lafontaine through the door. 

“We should split up. Cover more ground that way.” 

“Sure, whatever.” Carmilla managed to spit out, she can't afford to waste anymore time. 

They decide that Carmilla will head off towards the wooded area, meanwhile Lafontaine will head towards the centre of campus. 

“Hey Carmilla, be careful out there” Lafontaine says to Carmilla before they split off. 

“You're wishing me luck?” she snorts. “I'm the undead monster here, remember?” 

“Yeah undead, not immortal. Just be careful Carmilla.” They say while turning around to start walking towards campus. 

She turns to walk towards the forests that line the campus, choosing to ignore the friendliness from Lafontaine. When did she allow herself to grow so weak? To let all these people care for her, and even worse let herself care for these people too. Everything had been so much simpler for her when she would warn the marks and send them back home. So much simpler being able to enjoy this undead life on her own, with no one to tie her down. But then Laura happened. Carmilla still doesn't understand how she let her get under her skin so fast. In all her years she had never met someone like Laura, someone who fights so hard for what she believes in and protects the ones she loves fiercely. Carmilla had been a goner for that small girl from the moment she laid eyes on her but after being pulled from that pit she was hers for life. Though she wouldn't admit that to her. Even though she had no idea where their relationship stood she would always be there for Laura. 

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

And that's how Carmilla Karnstein finds herself walking along the outskirts of campus, searching for her missing ex-girlfriend. Well,  _ trying _ to search in between the texts she's getting from Lafontaine every 5 minutes. They said the texts are vital for keeping each other updated in the search but really it's just hindering Carmilla’s search because she has to keep stopping to look at her stupid phone. She's decided to just ignore the infernal device and keep looking for Laura. 

A half hour  goes by and as expected, she gets 6 texts from Lafontaine. Another five minutes pass and she feels her phone vibrate, which doesn't surprise her. What does surprise is that it doesn't stop vibrating.  

“Lafontaine I swear to God you better have found her or else-” she digs out her phone from coat pocket but when she sees the screen a different name lights up in her notifications. 

“Laura.” she says while breathing out. 

She had missed a phone call from her. Her phone vibrates again, this time showing she has a voicemail. Carmilla almost breaks her phone with how fast she's trying to unlock it and dial her voicemail. 

At first there's nothing there, just silence. But then she hears Laura’s voice. 

“Carm… I'm so scared. I don't know what's happening. I think I did something… something bad.” her voice breaks off into a sob “Carmilla please help me, what’s happening to me?” The voicemail ends. 

She lowers her phone from her ear and tears hit her phone. She didn't even realize she was crying. She can't stand to know that Laura was suffering. The worst part is that she knows exactly what Laura is feeling. That intense fear and hunger after first waking up still haunts Carmilla from time to time. She needs to get to her as fast as possible so she can try and help, but she doesn't even know where she is. 

She calls Laura back, willing her to pick up. 

“Carm…” 

“Laura! Where are you?” Carmilla blurts out. 

“I don't know… I'm so scared” 

“Cupcake can you try and look around for me and see where you are?” 

“Carm… everything smells like blood.” 

“Laura!” 

“Blood… everywhere. Why does it smell good?” her voice is starting to shake from emotion. 

“Laura please tell me where you are.” 

The line goes silent for a while, longer then Carmilla likes. She’s becoming antsy and is about to call out to Laura again when she hears a whisper come from the phone.  

“Apart...ment....” the line goes quiet again but the call doesn't disconnect. 

Carmilla doesn't even hang up the phone, she just starts running as fast as she can back to the apartment. Images of a Laura bloodied up from a fight or bleeding out flashing past her eyes. How can this small girl mean so much to her? When did she let her have this hold over her? 

Carmilla crashes through the front door, not even bothering to stop and check for danger, letting her nose take her to the blood. She rounds the corner into their small living room and sees Laura splayed out in the middle of the room soaked in blood. 

Shes next to her instantly, hands flying over her body looking for any cuts, and checking her vital signs. She calms down a little bit knowing that the blood isn't coming from Laura and that her heart is still beating and she's still breathing.   

“Hey, Laura.” She gently shakes the smaller girl's shoulder to try and wake her. “Come on sweetheart, wake up!” She says a little more urgently this time. 

Suddenly her world is flipped upside down as shes being slammed back into the ground. Pain shoots up her spine and stars burst in her eyes. Laura has managed to get on top of her and pin her to the ground before she even realized what was happening, which is a little impressive to Carmilla. That is until she looks up into Laura’s face. At this point she's lost track of how many times she's felt her heart stop or her veins turn to ice tonight. The soft girl is gone, replaced with her hard predatory twin. But just as soon as it comes, it disappears. Carmilla is barely able to process what just happened when Laura rolls off of her. Carmilla takes a moment to take a breath and begins to sit up, but has to stop. Her world is spinning and if it doesn't stop she's going to hurl. Laura apparently hit her into the ground a lot harder then Carmilla thought. Once she feels confident she isn't going to throw up she gets up to look at Laura to see that the smaller girl is rocking back and forth and small sobs are escaping from her. 

“Cupcake what happened?” Carmilla says softly, almost whispering. Laura is obviously in a very fragile state right now and she doesn't want to upset her. 

The only response Carmilla gets is Laura rocking faster.

“Alright, you don't want to talk about it yet, that's fine. I'll wait.” 

Carmilla moves across the room so she can sit down in front of Laura. She keeps a respectable distance between them because she isn't sure how she’ll react to her touch again. 

5 minutes pass, then 10, which turns into half an hour and neither one of them has said a word or moved. Laura is no longer crying or rocking back and forth but she hasn't let up from her tiny ball that she is crunched into. Carmilla settles into a more comfortable position because this is apparently going to be a long night. She pulls out her phone to find that Lafontaine has gotten lost on campus but they are safe. They tell Carmilla that they're going to make camp for the night and continue searching for Laura in the morning. She isn't worried about Laf being out there on their own. Sure the campus is full of weird things but she's confident that the science nerd can handle their own. Plus they probably had some sort of weird contraption in that bag that could blow up half the campus and everything with it. They'll be okay for now. 

Somewhere around the one hour mark of no talking and no moving Carmilla starts to hum. She doesn't sing often, it's something she likes to keep to herself. She hums now because she knows Laura loves to hear her sing. The first time she sang in the shower back at their shared dorm room she caught Laura eavesdropping at the door. She never sang in the dorm room after that, that is until they started growing closer together. Carmilla’s night wanders back to the first night she sang for Laura. 

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

One night Laura couldn’t sleep because she was too scared of what was going on with the missing girls. She ended up crawling into Carmilla’s bed in the night, she tried kicking her out but Laura clung onto her with impressive strength and was adamant that she wasn't leaving anytime soon. 

“Carm I’m scared.” She heard Laura’s muffled voice from where her face was buried in her neck. She can still feel her hot breath on her neck and feel the way her heart rate spiked hearing that nickname. 

“So naturally you crawl into bed with a creature of the night” 

She can feel Laura’s nose scrunch up against her neck which brings a rare smile to Carmilla’s face. It's rare that she can render this girl speechless and she revels in it each time. 

“Shut up that's not what I mean.” 

“Uh huh, okay. Mind telling me why you've breached my personal space then, cupcake?” 

She can feel Laura’s grip on her get impossibly tighter. Carmilla wonders how such a small human can possess so much strength. 

“What if I'm next?” she whispers out. 

“Please sweetheart. I think you've had one too many cookies before bed and it's messing with your head. Come on let's get you back to your bed.” Carmilla starts to sit up but those small arms drag her back down to the bed. 

“No, please Carmilla. I'm sorry. I-I can't sleep and I don't want to be alone” 

Carmilla sighs in response, but settles back down. After a moment she snakes her arms around the smaller girl, pulling her in closer. 

“Goodnight Laura.” 

“Goodnight Carm.” 

Carmilla is quickly brought to the edge of sleep. The heat from Laura’s body plus the extra weight on her chest is the perfect mix for her to enter blissful sleep. Sleep, sleep, slee- 

“Carm?” 

She opens her eyes and curses internally that of course it won't be that easy. 

“What?” 

“I'm sorry, it's dumb. I shouldnt have woken you up. Nevermind, go back to sleep” 

“I'm sure i'm going to regret this, but what's wrong cupcake?” 

“Can you sing to me?” she says barely above a whisper. If she didn't have super-hearing she would have missed it. 

She stiffens up under Laura, being caught off guard. Laura must have sensed the shift.

“You don't have to. I mean you just have such a pretty voice - I mean pretty singing voice. Not that you don't have a pretty talking voice too. They're both prett-”

“Cupcake, stop before you hurt yourself” Carmilla says while chuckling. 

“I just think it might help me fall asleep” she mumbles into her neck. 

Carmilla sighs, hating that she can't deny Laura something that she wants. 

“Alright fine, but we never speak of this again.” 

She can feel Laura wiggling against her, doing some stupid little happy dance probably. 

“Of course not! My lips are sealed.” She sees Laura bring her hand up to her lips and make a motion of doing up a zipper. 

She is quiet for a bit while she decides what song she's going to sing for Laura. She eventually settles on a modern version of a German lullaby she used to hear in the 1800’s. It will be a soothing lullaby for Laura but the lyrics have a meaning that she hopes Laura might pick up on. 

_ “Lullaby, and goodnight, in the skies stars are bright _

_ May the moon, silvery beams, bring you with dreams _

_ Close your eyes, now and rest, may these hours be blessed _

_ Till the sky's bright with dawn, when you wake with a yawn”  _

She's barely singing above a whisper. One reason because it's the middle of the night, another because it feels more intimate singing softly to Laura. Amazingly, she can already feel the smaller girl's breathing become more even and deep as Laura’s weight starts to become heavier on her chest as her body relaxes into Carmilla’s.

_ “Lullaby, and goodnight, you are  _ **_my_ ** _ delight _

_ I'll protect you from harm, and you'll wake in my arms” _

And there it is. The first hidden meaning she hopes Laura will notice. They haven't known each other long, only a couple months, but she’d do anything to help keep Laura safe. She means so much to her. 

_ “Sleepyhead, close your eyes, for I'm right beside you _

_ Guardian angels are near, so sleep without fear _

_ Lullaby, and good night, with roses be-dight _

_ Lilies o'er head, lay thee down in thy bed”  _

Carmilla doubts Laura can hear anything now, she can hear soft snores coming from her now. Really she could stop singing entirely and try and forget that this embarrassing and cheesy moment even happened. But maybe she’ll hear the song even in her subconscious dream land and get Carmilla’s message. That she’ll always protect her. 

_ “Lullaby, and goodnight, you are  _ **_my_ ** _ delight _

_ I'll protect you from harm, and you'll wake in my arms _

_ Lullaby, and sleep tight, my darling sleeping _

_ On sheets white as cream, with the head full of dreams _

_ Sleepyhead, close your eyes, I'm right beside you _

_ Lay thee down now and rest, may you slumber the best _

_ Go to sleep, little one, think of puppies and kittens. _

_ Go to sleep, little one, think of butterflies in spring. _

_ Go to sleep, little one, think of sunny bright mornings. _

_ Hush, darling one, sleep through the night _

_ Sleep through the night _

_ Sleep through the night” _

By the time she finishes singing Laura is in a deep sleep. Carmilla take a couple moments to just relish in the fact that she has Laura in her arms right now. In the morning she’ll deny that this happened, deny that she was nice and caring to Laura. She'll go back to being snarky and sarcastic and their normal life will go on. But not now she will cherish this private moment she gets to share with this small human that's slowly starting to chip away the ice on her heart. 

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

When Carmilla comes out of the flashback she notices that Laura is staring at her. She must have been humming the whole time she was reliving that night with Laura. 

“Hey” she says tentatively.

“Hey” Laura replies. 

Laura reaches out one of her hands towards Carmilla. It's covered in dried blood, caked under her fingernails. It doesn't even phase Carmilla however, she just reaches forward and takes the hand in her own. Laura pulls at their joint hands until Carmilla gets the message that she wants her closer, so she stands up and closes the small gap between them. Apparently Laura still isn't up for talking since she's only communicating through pulling on Carmilla. Now she’s pulling downward on their hands to motion for Carmilla to sit down next to her. Carmilla isn't entirely sure what's happening, so she just sits there with their linked hands hanging between them. Laura takes the next initiative to close the space, she throws her arms around Carmilla’s waist and leans her head on her shoulder. She takes this as it's okay to touch her now so she allows herself to throw one of her arms around Laura’s shoulders and pull her in closer. 

“Please don't stop humming.” 

“Your wish is my command sweetheart” She already hates herself for saying something so cheesy but she can't stop herself around Laura. 

They sit curled up in each other’s arms for a long time, Carmilla’s throat getting hoarse from humming so much but she doesn't care. She’d sing all night for Laura. The sun is starting to rise when she feels Laura start to stir in her arms, apparently she had fallen asleep. Shes getting more and more spastic in her movements and Carmilla can hear her mumbling “i'm sorry” over and over again. 

“Hey Laura.” Carmilla says, trying to wake the girl out of her nightmare. 

Laura jerks awake and rips herself out of Carmilla’s arms in a matter of seconds. Luckily she doesn't go very far this time, just across the room. When Carmilla approaches her she can see that Laura is scratching and scrubbing away at her skin. 

“Get it off get it off get it off” she keeps saying over and over again, not paying any attention to Carmilla.

“Laura hey, it's okay i'm right here.” she says as she gently takes one of her hands that's is furiously trying to run the dry blood off of her skin. “It was just a nightmare.” 

“Then why is it still on my skin?” Laura says quietly, she's gone still now, no longer trying to scrub off the blood. 

Carmilla’s heart sinks, realizing that Laura was reliving whatever happened to her after she ran away in her dream. 

“Come on, let's go get you cleaned up.” Carmilla says, pushing away her heartbreak.  She tries to pull Laura by the hand, but the younger girl won't budge. 

Laura is frozen in place again, but not like when her mother had her control over her. This time her eyes looked glazed over, or like she's staring off at a point very far into the distance. Everything that's been happening to her has finally pushed her over the edge. Her small body could only take so much, but now it's shutting down on her. 

Carmilla is furious that her mother has done this to someone so innocent. How dare she do this to the one person she has actually cared about in centuries, no that's exactly why she did it. Carmilla’s loyalties have shifted off of her mother and this is some sick form of punishment. Hopefully she doesn't know the hold she has over Laura seems to be gone for now for whatever reason. 

Since Laura doesn't look like she'll be moving anytime soon, Carmilla decides she'll have to carry her up to the washroom. She moves beside the smaller girl and bends down to get her elbow around Laura’s knees, while leaving the other on her midback. She stands up and takes a second to see how Laura will take to it, but the world could be exploding around them right now and she wouldn't notice. 

She carries her up the stairs to the washroom to start a bath for Laura. Ideally a shower would be easier but Lafontaine messed it up doing one of their science experiments and now whenever you run the water it electrocutes people. Since she narrowly avoided dying tonight she wasn't going to risk that right now. 

She kicks down the toilet seat lid before gently setting Laura on top of it. She turns and gets the water running but feels arms snake around her waist. 

“Don't leave me please.” 

She manages to twist herself around in her arms and cups her face with her hands so she can look her in the eyes, wiping away stray tears.

“I'm right here Laura, I'm not going to leave you. I promise.” 

“Thank you. I just-” she stops talking to let some more tears out, “I just need to feel you to make sure everything is real. That I'm not trapped in some nightmare.” 

Carmilla just stares into those chocolate brown eyes, so tired and worn from the last day. She has to blink back tears of her own, trying her best to hide the fact that her heart is breaking again knowing how much turmoil Laura is in. 

“Alright, let's get you into this bath. You're starting to smell like the bottom of an abattoir, cupcake.” Carmilla says playfully, trying to lighten the mood. 

“Please don't, I don't want to think about blood and death right now.” Laura said while cringing. 

“I'm sorry, probably not the best time for jokes.” She pulls Laura into a hug. 

She pulls back first but she can still feel Laura’s hands gripping her shirt. She doesn't think the girl is going to stop touching her all night. Not that it bothers Carmilla, she just wishes she could enjoy so much contact again under better circumstances. 

“Do you want me to step out while you get changed or do you want me to do it for you?” 

“Can you do it please.” 

Carmilla grabs the hem of Laura’s shirt, noting to burn all of her clothes later when she’s finally settled into bed. 

“Arms up!” she says, giving Laura a genuine smile. 

Laura lets go of one of her hands and raises it above her head. 

“Come on sweetheart, both of them,” she sees the anxiety cross Laura’s face, “I'll do it super fast, vampire speed remember?” 

Laura nods and as soon as her other hand is above her head Carmilla is ripping the shirt over her head. Those strong arms are wrapped around her neck as soon as the shirt is gone, Laura shakily breathing into Carmilla’s shoulder. 

“Hey it's okay, I got you. I'm here.” Carmilla whispers into her ear while stroking her hair. Even matted with dry blood, there are still silky soft patches. 

They hold each other until Laura is ready to proceed again. The rest of the process goes a lot faster now since she can keep at least one hand on Carmilla at all times. 

Once Laura has all of her clothing off and disposed of in a corner where she can't see, Carmilla takes her hand and leads her over to the bathtub. The water starts to turn a muddy colour as soon as Laura sinks into it, looks like she might have to give her two baths. During the first bath Carmilla sits on the edge of the tub, working on scrubbing the dried blood off of Laura. Luckily there was a washcloth near the tub that she could reach. Halfway through the first bath Laura seems to be slowly coming to because she starts to help scrub it off as well. The whole time she keeps one hand resting on Carmilla’s leg, always having to have some sort of contact. 

After they get all the blood of off her the tub is starting to look like something out of a horror movie so Carmilla helps Laura out and drains the water. Laura goes to grab a towel from the little linen closet in the washroom to keep warm, all while still holding Carmilla’s hand. Once the tub is drained Carmilla fills it back up with clean hot water, she even puts some bubble bath in there to help and cheer Laura up some more. Laura doesn't need prompting to get back in this time, she seems to becoming more aware and more like herself now that she’s clean. She sinks down into the hot water and actually smiles. Carmilla’s heart soars, it's been so long since she's seen a smile on Laura’s face. 

“Feeling better?” 

“Oh yes. This bath feels heavenly right now.” 

Carmilla just smiles at Laura, too happy to care about hiding the smile. She turns to grab the shampoo and soap when Laura starts talking again 

“You know what I've always wondered?” 

“No, but i'm sure you're going to tell me” 

“What happens when you get a cat wet!” She feels Laura’s hand move from her knee to her arm and she’s being dragged into the water. 

She hears Laura giggling as her head surfaces from the water. She cannot believe that just happened. She shoots Laura a dirty look but that only makes the other girl laugh harder. Carmilla tries to keep a scowl on her face but Laura’s laugh is too contagious and soon she’s laughing alongside her. 

“Alright, I'm going to let that slide because of the night you had. But don't you think I won't remember this and take vengeance later” She splashes some water at Laura before climbing out of the tub.

“Oooooh the big bad scary vampire is threatening me!” Laura’s says while blowing some bubbles off of her hand at Carmilla.  

“Fear me! I am a creature of the night!” She tries to say seriously but she can't even pretend with Laura still laughing. 

Soon, they're both doubled over from laughing so hard, Laura because Carmilla looks like a drowned rat and Carmilla because Laura’s laugh is too infectious. Carmilla already knows this is going to be one of her most cherished moments. She feels so light knowing Laura is feeling like herself again. The dark tarnished her light for a bit tonight but she’s shining more than ever now. 

“Alright, let me finish bathing you before you wrinkle into a prune.” 

The rest of the bath is spent exchanging smiles and giggles while Carmilla washes and rinses Laura’s hair and body. Once she's all clean, Carmilla gets her out of the tub again and Laura finds a clean towel to wrap around her body.

“Would it be okay if I strip out of my, now wet, clothes?” Carmilla says while giving Laura mock sad look. 

“Yes Carm, that's okay” Laura giggles in response. 

“Will you be okay not touching me for a minute?” She asks more seriously. 

Laura takes a deep breath and nods. Carmilla quickly strips out of her own wet clothing and grabs a towel to wrap around herself, then takes Laura’s hand again. She hears the other girl exhale once they are in contact again. She seems to be better but still needs her contact, Carmilla’s heart soars a bit at that even though it feels inappropriate. 

She leads them off to the bedroom. Luckily Carmilla managed to find them a lot of clothes when they first got back to campus, so there is something clean for Laura to wear now. Carmilla grabs her the first pair of comfortable pants and shirt she can find and hands them to Laura. 

“Can you get these on yourself?” She says while still rummaging through the closet for something for herself to wear. 

She hears a soft thump as something hits the ground, which catches her attention. She turns around and sees Laura fully naked, she quickly turns back around to hide her flaming cheeks. Sure she just gave her a bath but this feels different now. She doesn't want to intrude on Laura. Her hand is empty for a minute while Laura quickly changes, but that small hand slides back in as soon as she’s done. Carmilla is impressed at how fast Laura seems to be improving. 

Nothing in the closest seems to be of her taste, admittedly she stole more clothing for Laura then herself. She wanted Laura to have lots of choice to make her feel more comfortable with being back on campus. Carmilla settles on a clean pair of panties and an oversized plain t-shirt she found in the back of the closet. She turns around to face Laura and drops her own towel, giving her a taste of her own medicine. She doesn't miss how fast Laura’s cheeks turn red before she turns her head away. Carmilla quickly drops their linked hands to pull on her clothes before grabbing Laura’s hand again and lacing their fingers together while pulling her to the bed. She pulls back the covers and pats the bed. 

“Hop on in cupcake.” 

Laura climbs into the bed and settles into it, sighing and closing her eyes immediately. Carmilla pulls the covers up to her chin. 

“Sleep tight Laura.” 

Her eyes snap open and she grabs one of Carmilla’s wrists. 

“You’re not leaving, are you?” Laura says, trying her best to hide the panic in her voice. 

“I was going to go take care of some things in the house,” Laura’s grip gets tighter on her wrist, “But I can stay if you need me.” 

Laura nods at that. Carmilla sits down on the edge of the bed beside Laura, staring at the smaller girl as she closes her eyes again. Some time passes and then Laura opens her eyes again. 

“Can you hold me please?” She says quietly, hiding most of her face behind the blankets. 

Carmilla doesn't answer, she just gets up and walks around the bed to slide in behind Laura. As soon as she's in the bed Laura rolls over and throws herself over Carmilla. They had cuddled like this so many times it feels natural now. Carmilla doesn't know how much time passes while they lay tangled up in each other. She’s stroking Laura’s still damp hair and Laura has managed to slip a hand under her shirt and is tracing patterns on her skin. She was so content to just lay like this forever. Pretending like everything was okay. 

“I killed someone.” Laura says suddenly. 

Carmilla pauses stroking Laura’s hair, taken aback by Laura speaking not because of what she said. She pulls her in a little tighter and continues to stroke and play with her hair. 

“Well so have I, cupcake.” 

“Yea but you’re you. It's no big deal to you. I don't even kill bugs Carmilla, and I went out there and took away a human life.” Her voice starting to get shaky now, emotion breaking through. 

“Well if my memory serves me correct, I think you killed someone before.” 

“Vordenberg was different, he was going to kill you! What I did tonight was so unnecessary. I took an innocent life because I was so blind with thirst. The worst part is I actually kind of enjoyed it.” She shudders in Carmilla’s arms, “I'm a monster.” 

Laura can't hold back her tears anymore, she starts sobbing into Carmilla’s neck. All Carmilla can do is hold her tighter and wait for her to stop crying. After a while she finally starts to calm down. She moves to put her fingers under Laura’s chin and gently lift it up so she can look her in the eyes. 

“One night of blind bloodlust does not make you a monster.” 

“Yes it does!” Laura protests. 

“No it doesn't sweetheart. You had no control over what was going on. I would say if you went out night after night injuring and killing people, then you'd be a monster. But one time? No way.” Carmilla can see the tears forming in Laura’s eyes again. “Besides, someone as pretty as you couldn't be a monster.” She says teasing, trying to make Laura feel better. 

She gives her a small smile before she tucks her head under Carmilla’s head to hug her. 

“I don't even know how I got turned.” 

“You had a long day Laura, I think you should just go to sleep.” 

She lifts her head back up again, squinting at Carmilla. 

“You know how it happened didn't you?” 

“Laura I think it's best if you don't know ye-” 

“Tell me!” She says interrupting Carmilla

“Fine, but there's a lot more too it then you just getting turned.” 

Laura takes a deep breath, “I can handle it, I'm okay now.” 

“Alright, buckle up creampuff, you're in for a long morning.”  

She tells her everything that's happened tonight. Everything from walking in and seeing Danny pinning her to the ground and figuring out that her mother has hijacked Perry’s body, and it was her who was the one to turn her. Telling her about the weird controlling power her mother had over Laura and the command to kill Carmilla, to her running away because she couldn't hurt her. Coming back to the apartment and finding her unconscious covered in blood and sitting with her for hours, humming to her. 

“Wow.” That's all Laura can say after everything Carmilla just told her. 

“Yup.”

“I remember it now. I remember what it felt being influenced, it was like someone else was in charge of my body. I was still aware of what was happening but it was like my consciousness was being shoved aside. But seeing you… It somehow broke through it. I was fighting the thing controlling me so hard and seeing you seemed to give me the strength to break through momentarily.” 

Carmilla didn't say anything, she just laid there and took in everything that Laura was saying. 

“Everything was so overwhelming. The lights were too bright, noises were too loud, smells were too overwhelming. I'm guessing that was from the transformation?” She pauses to look for confirmation. Carmilla nods her head to affirm her suspicions. 

“I was also overwhelmed with the feeling that was allowing me to break through the connection.” she says more hesitantly.

“And what feeling might that be?” Carmilla says tentatively. 

“Love.” She says, staring directly into Carmilla’s eyes. “I was so overwhelmed with love for you that it somehow broke through the connection. I couldn't harm the person I love the most. Wow that sounds incredibly cheesy.” 

“Yes it does cupcake.” A small smile is forming on her lips. 

“That's why I ran. I was thirsty and had not completely broken whatever was controlling me, and well you have blood in you so I had to get out of there. After that I only remember pinning you to the ground because I was scared and instincts took over.” 

“Yea, thanks for that by the way. I have a nice lump on my head now.” 

“I'm sorry.” she says softly, cringing a bit. 

“It's okay sweetheart. I think you've given me worse injuries from sex.” She says while smirking at Laura.  

“Shut up!!” She says while burying her head in Carmilla’s neck to hide her red hot cheeks. 

“I'm sorry, I couldn't resist it.” She says laughing. 

She can't believe she's in bed, with Laura, actually laughing right now. She would not have believed this is where her night would have ended up. They lay there for a while just enjoying each other's presence. 

“So what happens now?” Laura asks.

“Well first I should help you adjust to vampire life, we still don't know what animal you’ll shift into.” Laura groans at that. 

“Relax cupcake, it isn't that bad… after the first hundred or so transformations.” She rushes out the ending, hoping that Laura will miss it. But of course she doesn't. 

“A hundred transformations!! Carmilla!” She pops her head back up to look at her in disbelief. 

“It'll be okay. I'll be right there with you.” 

“Really?”

“Yea. I'm not going anywhere, unless you want me to.” 

Laura just smiles and lays her head back on Carmilla’s chest. 

“Then I suppose we should go find Lafontaine and fight to get the campus and our friends back.” 

Laura is quiet for a long time. Carmilla figures she fell asleep, but then she’s lifting her head back up again. 

“Thank you.” She says while looking right into her eyes. 

“For what, cupcake?”

“For being so sweet and kind to me tonight. You’ve really helped me a lot.” 

“Anything for you Laura.” 

The tone between them has shifted. It feels so heavy and serious now. Laura’s eyes keep flicking down to Carmilla’s lips, which is sending butterflies into her stomach. Laura starts to lean into her, closer and closer. So close that she can see every little freckle on her nose. She closes her eyes and then Laura’s lips are on hers. She had forgotten how amazing it is to kiss her, to feel those soft lips against hers. The butterflies are fighting to get out of her stomach and she her heart feels like it's going to beat out of her chest. The kiss is short but there's so much emotion behind it. Laura loves her, she's grateful for Carmilla and everything she's done for her.

“Maybe after everything is done and back to normal we can work on us?” Laura whispers as she pulls back. 

“I think I'd like that very much.” 

Laura settles back onto Carmilla’s chest. Carmilla isn't sure where her and Laura’s relationship stands, but the chance of them getting back together is making her feel like she's floating. Laura drifts off to sleep first, the soft sounds of her in sleep start to pull Carmilla in as well. For the first time in a long time she drifts off to sleep feeling content and full of love. 

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to follow me on social media! Come talk to me about the fic, or about head canons or anything reallly :) 
> 
> Tumblr: carmillachangedme.tumblr.com  
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